A moment of clarity struck me as I flew home from another Training Cesar’s Way workshop yesterday. It seems every time I attend one of these sessions I learn some thing new about myself. This time I grew in ways I never thought possible. I realized more about myself in the last 5 days than ever before. I’m slightly ashamed to say it took me 3 visits with Cesar Millan to really get the message but it finally has gotten through to me.
The first time I went out to The Dog Psychology Center I learned about dogs and the power of energy as it relates to animals and came back excited to make major changes in how I ran my doggie daycare. My business became even more successful and friends, family and clients noticed some positive changes in the dogs and also in how I carried myself. It seemed like everything was happening just as it should because I followed my dream of learning from my biggest role model, Cesar Millan, and embraced everything he stood for. I was changed for the better! The second time I went to his workshop I learned even more. I came back and took my business to another level! I pushed myself to do things outside my comfort zone and took a huge leap of faith. I was courageous and I grew as an individual and the pay off was huge. Again I was pumped for my new life and embraced change.
Then, out of nowhere, I crashed. I felt drained, depleted of all my energy. I lacked enthusiasm and creativity. I found it difficult to connect with clients, dogs, staff and loved ones. What happened? I still don’t know. I felt like no matter what I was doing I was failing miserably. I took everything as a reflection of personal failure. I beat myself up…hard. To say my confidence was gone and I was depressed is an understatement. It was hard to go into work. My diet was poor, I was drinking more than I should, and crying in the shower. How could I inspire people and train their dogs when my energy was so weak? I felt like a fraud, preaching about energy when I couldn’t muster the strength to get out of bed never mind admit I needed help.
Then the opportunity to come back to Cesar’s Dog Psychology Center presented itself, like the universe knew I needed support and a helping hand. I got there and tried to be uplifting and felt more alone than ever until I opened up about my suffering and was embraced by people who can relate to exactly what I was experiencing. Being burnt out isn’t something to be ashamed of. And sometimes being stressed or depressed doesn’t equate to not being passionate about what you are doing. Sometimes we need to recharge and get in touch with our inner self. And finally when I put aside the drama of doubting myself and really listened to the universe, I realized I’ve got everything I need to make change and it’s all within my reach. I am fortunate to be surrounded by people who believe in the same philosophy as me. It’s not just about dogs and I understand that now more than ever.
The last day of the Cesar’s workshop we do a Meditation Walk and it’s one of the highlights of the trip for me and how I was first introduced to the power of meditation, the importance of deep breathing and stillness. I have since incorporated it into my life and shared it with clients and anyone else curious about the possibility of opening your mind to channel a connection with what surrounds you. As we prepped for meditation, I sat cross legged on the floor, my eyes closed and concentrated on my breathing for just 10 minutes. I walked away feeling refreshed, calm and content. I said farewell to my Cesar’s Way family and set out to the airport.
Now, let me be clear, I am not a good flier. I’m typically stressed, panicked and generally afraid. This is due to the passing of my father in a plane crash when I was only 3 years old. I have since realized that this fear is subconscious because I correlated travel with death from a very young age. But today with my calm mindset from meditating I was far more relaxed. I strolled through the airport unaffected by the hustle and bustle of others concerned about missing a flight and checking their baggage. I could feel the airport bursting with excited, stressed, and nervous energy and I let it slide off me as if I was wearing a protective layer.
Trying to kill time, I perused a book store and gravitated towards the “self help” section. I picked up and leafed through several books, which all interested me until I picked up one that hit me like a lightening bolt. The title spoke to me. “YOU are a BADASS.” It was as if the author herself pointed me out of the crowd. Slightly embarrassed to be looking at a how to book on self doubt, I put it back and walked away. By the time I reached my gate the little voice inside my head kept telling me to go back and buy that damn book. I thought to myself, “self, you need this book. You need to be a badass. No, you deserve to be a badass.” So I did. I listened to my gut and bought this life changing book, and it was like it was speaking directly to me! I devoured
page after page, nodding in agreement, putting it down at times to let the information absorb in my brain. I let the wisdom wash over me like a warm shower. I was obsessed with every word. And so my moment of clarity came to me and I realized the signs throughout the whole week that were trying to tell me the same thing. My guardian angel pointing me in the direction I needed to be heading in. This little book helped me realize that I am far too hard on myself and I have always been living in fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of putting myself out there. Fear of what other people think. Fear of failure. Fear of not being true to myself. Fear of getting hurt. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of sharing my gift. And in all honesty, fear of success.
“I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life – and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.”
– Georgia O’Keefe
This book was a major wake up call, reminding me about Cesar’s message that energy really is everything! How you think about your self and the world around you is your reality. The moment you realize that you not only have the power but ARE the power to overcome that fear and go after exactly what it is that you want is slightly overwhelming yet liberating at the same time. It’s what one of my mentors this week mentioned at the start of the workshop, the power of intention. If you whole heartedly believe in something it will come true. As Albert Einstein said, “The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
Again I find myself excited to go home and make change. This time it’s not for the dogs, it’s 100% for ME, because I am a badass!